Finding Confidence in your style
How to Boost Your Confidence in 3 Simple (But Powerful) Steps
Okay — I know. That subtitle made me gag a little too 😅
But I do believe that doing just a few intentional things can help you feel better from the inside out. And when you feel better on the inside, you radiate it.
That’s real confidence. Insta-confidence, even.
Why What You Wear Actually Matters
I’m sharing this not as an ad or a sales pitch, but because I know what it feels like to stand in your closet trying to cobble together something you can tolerate wearing instead of choosing pieces you genuinely love.
You know the drill:
“It’s hot, so maybe this tank and these shorts… ugh. These shorts always ride up my thighs and dig into my stomach, but I’ll melt in pants.”
Then the whole day becomes about adjusting, pulling, pretending you’re not thinking about your thighs touching or your shirt creeping up and revealing every squishy, scar-covered part of your stomach you’d rather not think about.
Once I started wearing clothes I actually loved — clothes that fit my body — something shifted.
And let me be clear: I was never going back.
Tip #1: Do YOU Like It?
That’s it. That’s the tip.
“Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are.”
— Iris Apfel
One of the things I hear most often is, “Oh, I wish I could dress like that.”
My response?
“You should.”
Or, “Why don’t you?”
Life is far too short.
If something lights you up inside — something you love — there is no reason not to lean into it. (Okay, yes, obvious disclaimer: murder and terrible-human behavior are off the table. Clothing? Fair game. 😉)
This isn’t about being fearless. It’s about valuing your wishes above your fear of other people’s opinions. I’m not immune to that fear, but I do have experience working through it as I step into the version of myself I used to hide.
Think about the things you’ve worn that made you walk taller.
That shirt you wish you owned three of.
Those shoes that make your heart smile.
That outfit that made you feel like a goddess.
Don’t have one yet? Go try things on. Window-shop. I’m willing to bet the item you put back saying, “Maybe not…” out of fear is the exact thing you’d love — and look incredible in.
Tip #2: Clothes Should Fit Your Body — Not the Other Way Around
“The dress must follow the body of a woman, not the body following the shape of the dress.”
— Hubert de Givenchy
We don’t force our feet to fit shoes. Shoes must fit us.
So why are we so cruel about forcing our bodies to fit clothes?
Trust me — I still hear that inner voice sometimes:
“If you just lost a dress size, you could buy that.”
What I do now is find brands and styles that align with what I love and fit my body as it is today. Once you do this — and yes, it takes some trial and error — something magical happens.
You stop asking, “What can I wear?”
And start asking, “What do I want to wear?”
That feeling is everything.
A Quick Note on Body Shape
You don’t need to dress vintage-inspired to feel confident — this just happens to be my lane.
I have a longer torso, a curvy body, and most of my softness lives in my tummy, complete with scars from three babies. Dresses rarely fit me well. But skirts with fitted tops? Magic. Separates allow me to honor my shape instead of fighting it.
Your version might be leggings and a flowy tank, a leather jacket, or a perfectly cut dress.
Do you.
Tip #3: How Do You Find “Your” Pieces?
“Style is something each of us already has; all we need to do is find it.”
— Diane von Furstenberg
Start with something you already love.
If you’re unsure, ask someone who will be honest and kind — not someone who hands out empty compliments.
I didn’t have that growing up. I learned through trial, error, and a lot of asking myself:
Do I feel confident?
Do I feel powerful?
Do I feel carefree?
Am I happy?
That question matters more than trends ever will.
“Don’t let fashion own you.”
— Gianni Versace
Stop Hiding
Life is short — cliché because it’s true.
Stop wishing you could.
Stop waiting for “someday.”
Start taking small steps toward the version of you that’s been waiting patiently to be seen.
I promise you: the shift is worth it.
And the only regret you’ll have… is not starting sooner.
